Self Discovery / by Neil Blake

I've recently gone through quite a bit and realized some important things I want to learn more about like "who I am". I've never put myself first, as I've always been with others whom I felt responsible for.

As a result, I've been trying to spend more time by myself to learn about myself, but I keep finding myself getting distracted by things that I know shouldn't be distracting me.

One example would be this blog. I have so many ideas. And so much time. And yet, there are no changes happening to that blog. It is summertime and the weather has been gorgeous so that has been my priority. At least I'm posting though! :)

It's interesting, when I first started this post, I felt as though I was in a very scared and depressed mood. However, this morning I woke up and I felt fantastic! Until this morning, I was very scared about my appointment tomorrow with my neurologist, but I'm not scared anymore. I've been feeling quite good lately and getting better and better every day. Also, as I learn more about the steroids and how they are affecting me, I am more able to recognize the signs of me being depressed or about to lose my temper and start yelling at someone.

I've also realized that my level of anger is directly related to my level of frustration, so that makes it a little bit easier to control.

i've also realized that it is not only because of the steroids that I'm more emotional, because when I think back, I used to yell at my mother and now I'm yelling at my friends and the only thing in common between all three cases is me.

I am happy though that I've realized I'll be working on in the next little while.