Zonked by Neil Blake

After my busy day yesterday, I was absolutely drained of all energy, but because my mind starts to race at night while reviewing my day, I had a feeling it would take a while to fall asleep. Since it was so busy, there was a lot to get caught up in reviewing to make sure that I actually fully accomplished everything I had set out to get done.

Thankfully one of the things I had to do was to get my medication from the pharmacy after I saw my doctor. This meant getting refills for the ones I was out of as well. One of those was Lorazepam, so as soon as I got home and finished the calls I had started earlier, I dropped one Lorazepam under my tongue and BAM! I was out. I even managed to also sleep in!

#lorazepam #sleepwell

Productive day by Neil Blake

One thing I’ve noticed about myself since being back in Sudbury is how unproductive I am. Because there isn’t really all that much to produce now that I am on disability other than taking care of myself and how much I generally feel unproductive. Or maybe it’s the feeling of accomplishment that I am missing. Even though I’ve learned to measure my productivity in new ways, I do still have a busy day like today was from time to time which totally brings those memories come rushing back.

It’s days like this that I miss so much.

MRI by Neil Blake

To get diagnosed with MS I needed to have my first ever MRI. Ever since that first experience with an MRI machine, I’ve always loved the noises they make, even though it is very repetitive, it is also quite calming at the same time. They are so easy to prepare for, and once you’re in, all you need to do is layback and not move for about an hour .

Personally, I find the not moving part the hardest. But once the machine starts doing what it needs to I just lay there listening.

It’s during times like that where things become a little more clear. For example, how lucky are we all to live on such a beautiful planet in such an amazing time where we are still learning! It’s thoughts like those that absolutely believe in God. If you know me, you know that I am not religious at all!

Just look at the world around you though! How can you not believe when all you see the beauty, the clean water and air! If you’ve ever gambled you know a little bit about probability and that the odds of this all happening are just obscene! There is just no way where this was planned in some workroom! Unless it was done by a God.

Walk Around The block by Neil Blake

I’m starting to feel quite a bit better since my appendectomy, although I’ve had similar experiences like this before when I had a really bad hernia, especially since that happened here too.

Appendectomy by Neil Blake

As I posted yesterday about the MS Hug, I started to realize that the pain I was experiencing in what I thought was my kidney or liver quite and was really starting to hurt, even more. It was also a pain I’d never had before, so I decided to go get it checked out at the hospital.

The MS Hug by Neil Blake

I think that’s it! In my MS Support Group, i’d Heard about “The MS Hug” from some of the other participants and always thought to myself, “That doesn’t sound so bad!” Hmmm, well, I totally think that it’s happening to me right now and I’m just here to let others know that that name is so not accurate in the least!

Back Home by Neil Blake

So, after a really good weekend in Tobermory with my dad this past weekend, I’m back in Sudbury for some medical testing for my GI Tract .

I’ve gone through so many different tests to figure out what is wrong with me, that it makes no sense to me as to why I am so scared for this test this morning. I have no idea what will be involved, and it freaks me out!

I’m going to stop worrying about it though, just going to get ready and head to the hospital. I’ll post again when I get back home today. With the details about what was done.

Oh oh! by Neil Blake

The first time I looked at the time on my phone this morning, it was 09:09. Now this doesn’t really sound like much at all, until I mention how every time I look at my phone, there a numeric pattern to the time. 10:10, 11:11, 13:13. I find things like this quite, bizarre, but comforting at the same time. It it’s more than just the time though.

After I saw the numeric patter in the time, I then opened up Facebook, and look at that! It’s a memory showing a picture of me and Melissa during our hardcore, phat pant, bleach blonde raver days on one side, and a picture taken about a year ago. When I saw that picture, it brought back so many memories about the best, funnest, most enjoyable times of my life!

That was a long time ago. Sooooo many things have changed for me though that I will likely never be able to recreate the experiences like that again. Although I did almost manage to when I went to see #Skrillex in Aukland. That was trip I will never forget, as it left a mark.

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Emotional control by Neil Blake

When I was younger, when I lost my temper, which happened quite a bit, especially at school. It took me down some pretty dark holes, nearly leading a suspension from school. Finally at one point I learned to be able to control myself a bit better, even though I did still have lapses, which have even led to me breaking my 5th metacarpal in my hand.

These days, unfortunately, I’m seeing the loss of the ability to control my emotions again, this time in a much less ugly, pain inducing way. For example, this morning I am sitting at The Coffee Shop in Tobermory trying to catch up on Facebook, only to have tears start flowing when other people stories of loss, wether it be because of the loss of a family member, dog or cat, doesn’t matter. After losing sooo much because of my MS, maybe it’s because I can relate to loss so much better, but wow!!! I really do wish I could get enough of it back to be able to control it better.

Low pain by Neil Blake

It’s not very often but it does still very rarely happen that the pain I deal with on a daily basis never starts up for some strange reason. Yesterday was one of those days! I really wish I could figure out how to stay there though because as I write this, I can already fell it coming back fiercer than yesterday and it only 9:30 in the morning. Actually I think I may have just remembered what I did differently yesterday! No sugar!

I guess I’ve got two amazing reasons to cut sugar completely:

1. I am trying to lose the weight I gained because of a side effect of one of the meds I’m on and eating way too much. It made me HUNGRY, so I’d eat sweet “snacks” all day long before going home to eat dinner and I’m not talking one dinner. Oh no! I’m talking 2 or 3.

2. So I can eat cleaner overall and Just feel better! Especially when combined with going to The Gym in Sudbury.

I also don’t think that the amount of sugar I was eating was helping my MS.

Vanmory by Neil Blake

Vancouver Harbour style yacht in Tobermory

Vancouver Harbour style yacht in Tobermory

It took me a good while, but I’ve figured it out! One of my favourite things about Vancouver was how “at home” and comfortable I’ve always felt there… because of the time i spent in Tobermory as a child while my parents went scuba diving. I remember just playing in the sand with my sister for hours and hours. It was nothing but awesome!

Now that i am back home in Ontario and in Tobermory visiting my dad it does nothing but bring back memories of walking on the Seawall in Vancouver! It makes me realize how much I wanna go back!

2050 by Neil Blake

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So now that I don’t work, I’ve got myself a LOT of free time to fill. How I deal with situations like these is I try to find things to do to fill my days. I usually start off with a quick look at Facebook, but I’ve really been trying to focus on what I need to do lose some weight.

I’m currently sitting at “The Coffee Shop” here in Tobermory on an absolutely beautiful day. From some of the articles I’ve been reading on Flipboard have been talking about the amount of damage we as the human race have been doing to our home planet. The articles I’ve been reading have been saying everything from how the recycling programs in Ontario, and most likely the rest of Canada, and most likely the US as well is not actually helping the environment at all. In fact it is probably making it even worse. Micro plastics are only getting worse and more prevalent around the world!

On top of all that plastic that will be around for a long, long time, we should remember: in order to produce the stuff in the first place, we need to get the oil and gas to manufacture it. That takes up a lot of resources. We have already gotten to the point where the Oil Sands in Alberta actually makes sense to some people.

Today, corporations are all just seeking higher and higher profits and will do anything it takes to the environment to make it happen ANYTHING!

We haven’t even talked about global warming yet! It has already started and has gotten so bad that HUGE glaciers at both the South and North poles. Once they are gone, there will be NOTHING left to cool the planet!

When scientists look at the current rate of change we are already seeing in the weather they predict that by the year 2050, it will be too hot for humans to survive! That is only 30 years away!

My diagnosis has really taught me to live and enjoy life as much as I can every day and you should to!

#globalwarming #microplastics #glaciermelt #greenland #southpole #northpole #humanextinction #thecoffeeshop #tobermory

Art sale Update by Neil Blake

Uh!!! Unfortunately, even though I was out on the dock with my art all day, I didn’t even manage to give away a business card for free yesterday!

The area of the dock ended up being in a very low traffic area, so hardly anyone got to see my setup where I had 10 pieces. I barely even talked to anyone!

Next time I do something like that, I’m also going to make sure I have signs!