Blog++, IG++ by Neil Blake

Not sure if you've noticed or not, but I have been posting here a bit more often lately, but, not only here.  Another reason I've been a little more active on here is because I've been feeling the best I have in since being diagnosed. This has allowed me to paint more  often lately, which simply leads me to have more to  post to my Instagram account.

LOL. So as I sit here at Greenhorn Cafe writing this post, the pain that I was saying was feeling "good", is starting to act up again. It's important to note the quotes. The quotes are there to indicate very clearly, that this is not what I would have called good a few rears back.  Even though when I say "good", this is a "good" with an absolutely different meaning to me today, as I've had to completely redefine good  since MS. Mentally, i've been doing alright...  unless I start thing about women, or, I should say the lack of at least one woman with whom I am more than friends with, whether it simply be for a short time or a long time.  There once was a time where I wasn't really considering long-term relationships because I just wasn't ready. I am now!

That being said about that part of my life, actually, i'll post about it tomorrow!

Holly Butcher by Neil Blake

I was on Facebook this morning doing my usual daily catchup when I saw a post one of my friends shared. It was a post by Australian cancer victim Holly Butcher on the Samantha Wills Foundation website. It was the last post she wrote before her death.  She was only 36 years old when cancer took her life, while I am still alive, her story is kind of like how MS radically changed mine 6 days before my 35th birthday. Similarly to how Holly's life was taken by the cancer she couldn't control, I can totally relate because of what I feel MS has done to me and my life. I really feel like my life was stolen from me more and more often lately. 

I still remember the first time I heard a fellow MS sufferer use the word stolen when referring to inability to do the things she once did, but is now unable to do. It really bothered me, almost shocked me in fact. I was still new to MS at the time, and hadn't really had time to fully take a look at how different my life was yet. Now however is a totally different story as it's been almost 5 years since i've been living this new lifef of mine, where I am alone all day, every day. I really miss working, writing software, interacting with people in real life, not using a screen to FaceTime someone, probably from my family. 

This Is Us by Neil Blake

One of my best Friends RT recently introduced me to a new show, available on Netflix, called "This Is Us", which, even though I am only a few episodes in, is definitely some of the best TV i've ever seen, by far! I just love the stories and subjects it deals with, the characters, and how those characters deal with some very real, and very difficult situations. If you haven't seen it yet, i could DEFINITELY start at episode 1 of season 1 and go from there. If you love TV with really good, interesting and relatable stories, you'll be hooked before you even finish that first episode. 

Working on Dating by Neil Blake

I'm starting to see more and more reason to be blogging every day, like my mental health. I mean I've been quite down about my whole dating life and total lack there of, so I posted yesterday about my dating experience in Vancouver since getting divorced. 

Later that night, I was sitting at home, going over my day in my head and that's when I was brought right back to how lonely I was and yet while everybody I meet have good experiences online, mine have been anything but. It was late at night, I was absolutely worn out, ready for bed... that's when it hit me! I really need to start putting more energy into it. I mean, it's 2018 boi!, you're going to have to work for it! and so going forward, I am just going to try to allocate a bit more time to it and actually work at it. 

dating.jpeg

Dating by Neil Blake

I've been single quite for the last 8 years, ever since my divorce from Crystal, and I am totally hating it.  There have in fact been very few times since my divorce where I was able to introduce the woman I was with as my girlfriend. When I do meet someone, I am very good at talking with them and, unfortunately, getting myself put into the "friend zone". Don't get me wrong, the "friend zone" is a very ice place to be with a lot of women, but having someone to kiss and please in intimate ways would also been REALLY nice too. 

Dating in 2018 is so whack, it's crazy. Maybe it's just me, I mean I haven't really dated much at all, even though I have tried every online dating site or app there is, but "Wow!" I just don't get it.