Go! by Neil Blake

So, it’s already noon, and I haven’t done anything so far today, except get dressed, check my bank account and lay on the couch.

It’s a gorgeous day outside today, so I’m going to do one quick dab, and head out on a walk. Have a great day everyone!

Breakdown by Neil Blake

I find it easier thinking about what MS has done to me and my life, than even thinking about what I, by very far, will regret the most of all my time on earth.

For me, it is definitely something that taught me A LOT about love, life and myself. I think the breakdown I had the other day is exactly what I needed to help me.

It was definitely hard, but that’s probably because it took me so long to get down and actually do the emotional processing that needed to be done.

Waiting by Neil Blake

Until I can get back to the gym, I feel like my days here are so, I don’t know. I guess “confusing” would be quite fitting when trying to figure out how I feel about the fact that I am back in Sudbury.

Lost by Neil Blake

I had an appointment with my neurologist yesterday in Bracebridge, and while we were all in her office saying our final words to each other, the power went out! We waited around for a little while waiting for it to come back on, but it ended up never coming back before we left.

Unfortunately for me, be everything was now pitch black, it meant that ended up forgetting my headphones and water bottle.

It won’t be long before I get my things back!

Last Cheat week by Neil Blake

Before the surgery I had 5 weeks ago that made it impossible to work out, I had been doing exactly that, and the pounds were just dropping off in big ways. I haven’t worked out since I was operated on and I can totally say this honestly

Northland Lodge by Neil Blake

Stunning Saturday at the trailer with my parents. I just finished adding a picture of my view right now at Northland Lodge where I am sitting in front of the fire while medicating by smoking a freshly rolled joint. I mean, how much more perfect can it get? Actually, I do have a few ideas, but can only do one thing at a time.

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Plaintext by Neil Blake

I opened up an app that I hadn’t used in a very long time and found a note that I had ment to publish somewhere around 5 years ago that never ended up making it to published, so here it is:

“Well, on Friday, I went to speak to our VP of HR about the possibility of returning to software development. Something is about to change in the very near future, I can feel it.

I just joined tinder. I am also currently on match, but just wanted to try tinder and see what happens and to meet new people. 

My date on Thursday is from Abbotsford.”

Shatterday by Neil Blake

I’m just going to call today Shatterday because that is what today will be all about for me until my parents get back home later today.

New Sudbury by Neil Blake

Now that I am back in Sudbury and starting to get back into some old routines, it’s bringing back so many old memories, it’s surprising really. I mean I’d only spent so little time here after I left for Vancouver and even when I lived in Ottawa, I didn’t really come back here very much. When I did though, it often wasn’t for a good reason at all.

That last sentence also brought back the first summer I was back here… I was on my way to divorce from Crystal, unfortunately. At the time, it was definitely the worst summer I’d ever had. Little would I remember about that summer until I ended up having to move back to Sudbury AGAIN 10 years later for entirely different, and I’d say way more difficult to accept reasons.

That summer I was here before I got divorced was for reasons that were entirely because of bad choices I had made. Whereas this time, I am here because of health reasons largely because of my own body turning against me with my MS and what may also turn into epilepsy. Oh well! What can I do other than put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward?

Coffee by Neil Blake

Now that I’m back in Sudbury again and living at home with my parents, I feel like there is a massive hole in my life, especially when I look at my social life. This is very apparent when it simply comes to grabbing a cup of coffee in the morning.

Black and white by Neil Blake

I’ve been noticing women in black and white outfits lately, and I as an artist, I find that quite interesting, especially when you look at my work so far, which is absolutely full of very bright colors of all shades. Now, I will also saw that the last woman I noticed also had very bright blonde hair as well, which I love! Since we were at the mall however, I didn’t want to seem creepy, so I didn’t even let her know how good she looked.

When things like this happen, it always has the effect or showtime the power color has on the human mind!

Back in the bury again by Neil Blake

I’ve been back to and living back in Sudbury since last November, was here for Christmas with my family, which was extremely disappointing, to say the least, and right on through the crazy coldest I’ve ever seen. Now it’s summer, when it can get as high as +51 like it did a couple of weeks ago.

Now that I have been here a while, I’m starting to see it in a very different light. In fact I just remembered what happened to me last time I was in Sudbury. I had been laid off from my first job after graduating from University!

There was a reason I moved to Vancouver! I wanted to get as far away from Sudbury as I could, and that feeling is coming back so strong!

Trailer Times by Neil Blake

My parents have a trailer they go to during the summer to get away from the city and relax. It’s at a trailer park under an hour away from the house in St. Charles. Now don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy going there to chill, but sometimes I’d rather be in Sudbury. Right now is one of those times.

I’m very happy that we are going home later today though because i would rather be somewhere I could hit up a Starbucks or Twiggs coffee with a date and have some good conversation with great coffee. The fact that someone from Plenty Of Fish recently contacted me makes me want to get back so much more!

Lost and found by Neil Blake

Yesterday was a long day in the morning I had rolled myself up about 10 joints for the day. I went for many long walks after that was done to get my 10,000 steps a day done, so I was in and out of the house several times.

I would smoke my joints while walking on the street in my local neighbourhood. At one point however I wanted to smoke a little more Sativa, but could not for the life of me find my Barkleys mints where I had put all of my pre-rolls into to carry with me for the day.

This just absolutely meant that I had to find them! I tried to recall what I had done and even went as far walking along the exact same path several times to try to find them.

Eventually, I remembered that I had bought an 1/8th of an ounce of indica earlier that day that I had absolutely taken care to not lose. I had bought the indica to use to help me fall asleep instead of Lorazepam, and so that's what I did, and it worked out great!

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InDica by Neil Blake

I am currently on a lot of prescription drugs for my MS. One of the drugs that I use to fall asleep is called Lorazepam (SubLingual). You see, I LOVE falling asleep on it because I only need to put it under my tongue, and in less than 20 minutes, I will be totally asleep for the evening no matter what was racing around my mind.

You see, I’m on a cocktail of prescription meds because of my MS and it can be very difficult to fall asleep when I start thinking about my life today. I’m not too happy about it to be perfectly honest. So, instead of just laying in bed at night, I sometimes use Lorazepam to fall asleep, but I really don’t like having to do that. And I was getting ready for bed when I remembered that I had bought some indica. to try instead.

Now it may not sound like a big deal, but while using Cannabis all day, everyday to help with my pain, I’m usually using a strain that is Sativa. I use Sativa during the day to help me stay awake. Last night was a very different story! Last might I rolled myself up a joint of a strain that was a very heavy Indica and smoked that just before bed, and it worked!

No pharmaceuticals were used to get me to sleep last night, and I am soooo happy because of it! I think I’m going to start doing that a lot more often!